Alicia Unscripted

I was just using this goofy site called "The Advertising Slogan Generator" where you type in a word and it puts that word into a famous slogan. So I put in Alicia and the title of this blog came out. Fitting for my first real blog on this site. The last one was just something to throw up quickly and start my real blogging later.

I may have fooled you again, though, as I am lacking the brain power necessary to type anything of meaning. Who knows, maybe I'll stumble upon something. But don't hold your breath.

The thing is I have a very difficult time writing out my feelings. I have no trouble, and my friends will definitely vouch for me on this, communicating my thoughts and feelings verbally. In fact, I am the queen of "blah..blah...blah". But writing is much different. With talking my mouth opens and the words just come. It's like that sometimes with writing, but with a million times the scrutiny. I pick apart every sentence before I've even finished typing or writing it. At least with typing I can flow a little easier, but still. I'm also torn between the excitement of sharing my thoughts, ideas, and experiences and complete fear that what I consider to be interesting or worth sharing is other people's guaranteed cure for insomnia. See, I just stopped my flow and edited that last sentence three times! I'm sure if I looked at it again I'd change it completely. Heck, if I reread the blog I would probably erase the whole darn thing.

Okay, I'm new to this blogging stuff and I've decided on a rule: I will not edit. Oh man, after I typed that I really wanted to delete the word "not" and make it capitalized. But no, the corrections have to stop somewhere. And by corrections I mean the self-critizism.

Is self-critizism even a word? Speaking of which, I learned last week that the word "vendorized" is not actually a word at all, at least according to Microsoft Word. Crap, I edited that last sentence. Wow this is going to be difficult. Okay, nevermind. New rule: No spending more than a few seconds rewording a sentence. No one is grading this. Heck, no one's reading it yet either except my friend, Bill. Hi Bill!

This desire to tear everything I write apart has really limited my creativity and made me completely unproductive. That's why I've decided to take up blogging and hopefully get into the habit of writing for writing's sake, not to impress anyone.

We'll see how that goes.

Questions to think about: Are you a perfectionist? Do you let critizism stop you from doing something that you enjoy? Are there things that you do, or do a certain way, for the approval of others? What part does perfectionism or performance play in your spiritual life?