Once again it is my bedtime and I will only be writing a short blog. Thankfully my reader (hey Glo) is back, so all is well in the world.
Today was, in a word, unproductive. I was already dragging through my work days before my nice four-day vacation. So now trying to focus on filing and meeting minutes is just completely rediculous.
However, I am pushing myself to not flake out and quit. I do not plan to stay in my position forever, but I do not want to leave for the wrong reasons. I want to leave because I am moving on to something better, not because I would rather write all evening and sleep all day.
In the past I would have bailed out. I quit school in order to pursue my photography career. Unfortunately all I accomplished was watching a lot of television and sleeping (and sleeping, and sleeping).
I think once I am able to drive and I get my vehicle secured things will really open up for me. I even wrote a list today of all the things I am looking forward to doing once I can get around on my own, and on my own time.
Have guaranteed transportation to and from work
Have guaranteed transportation to and from school (if I should begin taking classes again)
Have guaranteed transportation to and from photoshoots
Have guaranteed transportation to and from the store
Have guaranteed transportation to Dr. appointments
Meet more people
Do more servant evangelism
Go and visit/pick up my friends/family when I feel like it
Go and check out our local museum
Go to plays and other productions
Go home on my lunch hour
Go anywhere on my lunch hour!
Scope out new sites for photoshoots
Go to the photo shop to have my prints professionally printed/mounted
Go to the library
Go to open mic night
Go buy food when it runs out
Go rent a movie
Go to a drive in
There were many more things on the list I wrote earlier. But the point is that my life has been severly limited by my fear of driving and procrastination in this area. I could have gotten my car situation cleared up a long time ago - made all of the appointments, got all of the adaptions. I let stupid things like my fear of asking for rides to the DMV and lessons, and my disabilities get in the way. No more excuses. I've got to get out of this house! And I want to do it on my terms, guilt free. No more bumming rides and feeling like a burden.
This list is so pitiful, really. When I typed "go to the local museum" i almost cried. I've lived in Stockton for three years, and ridden by that museum many, many times. I have friends who live 20 minutes away who might as well live in another country. The things on my list are so base, yet I have been denying myself the simplist activities for years. Six years.
It's time to get this taken care of. Lori, my roomate, is taking me driving once a week. My official lessons start on January 2nd, and I am so excited. My goal is to get my license by February.
Questions to think about: In what area(s) of your life have you let excuses get in the way? Why do we make excuses? How does this effect us? How does this effect those around us?
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