Not The Best Idea

I called him today. I was listening to NPR at work and heard that there is a fire in Oklahoma that has destroyed some homes and killed a few people. My ex-boyfriend lives in Oklahoma and I was worried about him and his family. So like an idiot I dialed him up. To my surprise, he answered.

I quickly and quietly rattled off my crazy concern about fires taking over his home. He replies angerly through his teeth "We're fine." I laugh a soft nervous laugh, "Okay... I was just worried." After a long, uncomfortable pause, he sternly replies, "Good-bye." We hang up.

I continue with my work, wanting to smack my own forehead for calling about something so stupid (that could have been looked up on the internet). Gosh he does have a sexy voice, though.

A few minutes later my phone rings. He is more angry. Angry isn't even the word for it, actually, he was furious. He precedes to rant for almost twenty minutes straight, during which time he shared with me:

1) I am evil
2) He is not evil
3) I am not allowed to call him ever again
4) I am to send him his things immediately
5) I am not allowed to call his family ever again
6) I am evil
7) Even though I broke up with him, I still should have moved to Oklahoma as a friend to support him and his family.
8) We are never going to be friends, I lost that right
9) I am supposed to apologize and say that I was wrong for breaking up with ("abandoning") him at this time
10) I am really REALLY evil
11) I am not allowed to love him
12) I am not allowed to care or worry about him
13) If I should choose to try and get back together with him I must be willing to admit all of the above
14) His house will be done in February, and I may have a chance of still getting married and doing all of the above.

It was a horrible phone call. It was an unnecessary phone call. I do not intend to repeat it. I listened, agreed with some things, disagreed with some things, and that's that.

Well, some friends just arrived to steal me away for the evening. Thank you for letting me vent. I only hope that someday he comes to understand why I broke up with him, and maybe we can be friends.

I still miss him.