Where is God? Same place he has always been, I suppose. At least that's the craderroll answer. I just haven't been hearing much from him lately. I'm probably shutting him out. That wouldn't surprise me, as I haven't been wanting to listen much. I am asking for an answer and closing my ears to the answer at the same time.
The end of my last relationship is the last I remember really - I mean REALLY - hearing God. I was in a relationship that was so toxic that I couldn't do anything but wallow in our self-created situation. Wallow and hope it would somehow get better. And pray. I prayed all the time. So when I saw health and hope it was so evident. It didn't fit, it stuck out and refused to be ignored. I could hear God saying "do this", "go here", "stop". My creativity was flowing, my relationships were shifting, and I could see God working everywhere. There was a huge contrast between how I felt in this atmosphere and how I felt in my relationship. I had to get out. So I did.
And then nothing. My creativity dried up, I became really depressed. I was hoping that after I got over my relationship that God's direction and that passion would return. But it hasn't.
I just needed God so much during that time. And even though things are okay now I still need him and still long for that direction. I miss it a lot. I hope it comes back soon.
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