I spent most of my New Year's Eve sorting through the junk in my room. I am a serious pack-rat who is trying to stop her hording tendencies. I guess you could call that one of my "New Year's Resolutions".
Unfortunately tonight I'm having a "New Year's Disillusion". Being at home alone wasn't exactly how I had planned to spend this evening. And there is a chance that I may talk myself into hanging out with my friends instead. I think this pack rat is trying to hibernate in her cozy bed of random stuff and the memories they are attached to. So much junk. So many painful memories. What a waste of a year.
But I know that is just me being pesimistic, and as soon as I'm with my friends I will be laughing and having a great time. I think I'm just scared. I feel completely unprepared for the tasks that are ahead of me. Yet somewhere, underneath a thousand layers of fear, I have a faint and distant memory of a time, only a month or two ago, that I was brave and ready to start a new adventurous life. I was really looking forward to the possibilities that this new year would bring, but now I am terrified.
I guess that's okay. There are many stories in the bible about people being afraid. Being afraid is only bad when it paralyzes you. That's why I have to keep moving.
I pray that you all have a fun evening.
Happy New Year, everyone.
"It's been a long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last..."
2 comments:
Good luck to you. You're wise to remember that we have not been given the spirit of fear. You'll be blessed in your pursuits, dear!
hey alicia how's it going? i haven't spoken with you in awhile. I hope things are going well...i've been so busy that it's hard to believe it's almost been two years since i've been up in CA. i hope you have a better year and i'll be praying for all of you...if you get the chance tell Adam that i tried to post a comment on his blog but he doesn't alow anonymous posters on his blog...he needs to fix that now doesn't he? :)
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